Ten years ago on September 13 2003 I married Rick a man that I loved. We were introduced to each other in church and from there we started dating. Both of us were separated but had no gotten divorced. Rick said right away that he knew I was the one, but for me it took a while. I wasn't ready to jump into something I wasn't 100 percent sure it was the right thing. I had already started my divorce just in case it was the right thing and besides that I needed to be clear of my past to move forward whether it was with Rick or if is was with just me, I wasn't sure what God had in store for me an the future but I was just taking it one day at a time.
The first 2 years of our marriage was good but it seemed it went down hill from there. We were arguing over the smallest things that in the end didn't mean a thing. We had separated for a while and decided to try it again and it was fine for a bit but I wasn't happy and if memory serves me correctly neither was Rick. In 2010 we decided to go to counselling and it worked for a while but there was still issues and there was something missing and I just couldn't put my finger on it. I was so ready to throw my arms up in the air and just say "that is it I give up I just can not do this anymore". I had made my plans of just leaving and not looking back I just wanted to take my things and walk away but I stayed.
In June of 2011 things really started getting bad we couldn't look at each other without arguing or saying something that we shouldn't have. August rolled around and Rick was put in the hospital because of colitis.. I remember it so clearly as he was laying there in the bed saying that he didn't want to live if he had to live like this all the time. I was sitting on the window sill and I said to him" this wold be so easy to walk away from you right now if I was having an affair. I told him that I wouldn't think twice of just leaving this room and walking away but it wasn't that easy. I had 8 years of my life into this marriage and it was time to stay or go.. At that time God had spoke to me and said "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Rev.3:16 ".. So that is when I had made my decision to stay and fight for my marriage and to stay and help Rick through his illness. It was a long hard road but we learned together that we had to have Christ as the center of our marriage not ourselves. With the Lord"s help and a lot of bible reading and praying I am happy to say that we are on track. I married Rick 10 years ago because I guess I loved him but now I am happy to say I am IN LOVE with the man I married who also has become my best friend.
I am not the best at writing things down and putting them into words but I wanted to share this with you all. If it was not for Rick getting sick and going through all his health issues in the past 2 years I can honestly say I would not be with him today. So for every thing there is a reason and \i thank the Lord for it.
